Freedom of the Batman
Context: An assignent from a Writing Literary Criticism Class. The paper required a stage format and two arguing characters. One character must only state facts.
The stage is dark. A faint, cold blue light from backstage creates the black silhouettes of a large city skyline that dominates the stage backdrop, save for the center. Languid white spotlights wave back and forth across the stage, not quite bright enough to penetrate the white mist that curls across the floor and out into the audience.
PENCE enters right and addresses the audience. As he speaks, a new silhouette gradually materializes in the middle of the stage, a vaguely humanoid figure slowly ascending some stairs from behind the stage.
PENCE: I bid all of you good evening. Thank you for attending in these troubled times. The issue I speak of tonight is one of the greatest importance. One which you are all sadly familiar with due to these dark nights our fair city is currently experiencing. For it is not enough that the criminal element seem to have free reign on our streets. No, in addition we must contend with a far more insidious plague: vigilantism.
(The silhouette resolves as the spotlights focus on the figure. The figure is a man wearing black body armor and adorned with a flowing black cape. His face is hidden by a mask, with pointy ears atop it.)
BATMAN: (in a deep, gravely voice that brooks no dissent) I’m batman! (he pulls a tool from his belt and fires it in the direction of stage left, then swings off in that direction)
PENCE: Crime waves come and go, but the damage dealt to our great society by these ill-justified hooligans will be with us far longer. By their actions, they disrespect the very law they claim to be defending. This dissemination of disrespect is far more dangerous than any petty criminality.
ACCOSTED WOMAN: (gives a high pitched scream from stage left) No! Please! Just let me go!
THUG 1: (from stage left) Ya just had ta scream, didn’t cha?
THUG 2: (also from stage left) Now this is gonna go way worse for you then it had to.
(an amplified sound of a cape swooping through the air rings out, followed the noise of a brutal beat down)
ACCOSTED WOMAN: You… you saved me. Why?
BATMAN: Because I’m batman!
PENCE: The fundamental disrespect these vigilantes have for the rule of law makes them a danger to everyone, especially our brave men and women in blue. Without the necessary training and network supporting our police, vigilantes are a worse scourge than what they claim to fight.
(BATMAN swings to the other side of the stage)
OFFICER 1: (from stage right) Look, guys, I know you’re angry. I get it. You thought I was one of your mates. I get it. But… please. I have a wife and four kids. Just… just put the guns down.
(a loud slap rings out)
THUG 3: You shut your mouth pig! They’ll be no mercy for squealers like you!
OFFICER 1: Please! Think of my children!
THUG 3: No, its you who’d best be thinkin of them. Thinkin about what you want them to see when they fish your body out of the river. Stevey here is going to figure out exactly how much you spilled, and you get to decide how gentle he is. Stevey! Get over here! Wait, where’s Stevey?
THUG 4: I don’t know boss, he was just right here.
THUG 3: What? Why would he run off? Bruno, go get… Wait, where’d Bruno go? And… George? Where’d George go? Where’d….
(THUG 3 lets out a loud grunt, and there’s a sound of rope whipping through the air and a clank of metal)
OFFICER 1: What… how… six armed men… What are you?
BATMAN: I’m batman!
PENCE: For without rule of law, there is no city, no civilization worth saving.
(a man dressed in ninja attire sneaks towards PENCE from stage left. He slowly draws a knife as he gets closer)
PENCE: With that in mind, I urge each of you to act with the greater good in mind. Do not tolerate these self proclaimed heroes.
(the man grabs PENCE by the shoulders and wheels PENCE around to face him, knife flashing. BATMAN erupts through the stage floor and grabs the ninja from behind, tossing him into the hole. PENCE skitters backward like a crab)
PENCE: What… who… how?
BATMAN: (swoops in close to PENCE’s face, whispering like a lover with a blender for vocal cords) Because. I’m. Batman.
PENCE enters right and addresses the audience. As he speaks, a new silhouette gradually materializes in the middle of the stage, a vaguely humanoid figure slowly ascending some stairs from behind the stage.
PENCE: I bid all of you good evening. Thank you for attending in these troubled times. The issue I speak of tonight is one of the greatest importance. One which you are all sadly familiar with due to these dark nights our fair city is currently experiencing. For it is not enough that the criminal element seem to have free reign on our streets. No, in addition we must contend with a far more insidious plague: vigilantism.
(The silhouette resolves as the spotlights focus on the figure. The figure is a man wearing black body armor and adorned with a flowing black cape. His face is hidden by a mask, with pointy ears atop it.)
BATMAN: (in a deep, gravely voice that brooks no dissent) I’m batman! (he pulls a tool from his belt and fires it in the direction of stage left, then swings off in that direction)
PENCE: Crime waves come and go, but the damage dealt to our great society by these ill-justified hooligans will be with us far longer. By their actions, they disrespect the very law they claim to be defending. This dissemination of disrespect is far more dangerous than any petty criminality.
ACCOSTED WOMAN: (gives a high pitched scream from stage left) No! Please! Just let me go!
THUG 1: (from stage left) Ya just had ta scream, didn’t cha?
THUG 2: (also from stage left) Now this is gonna go way worse for you then it had to.
(an amplified sound of a cape swooping through the air rings out, followed the noise of a brutal beat down)
ACCOSTED WOMAN: You… you saved me. Why?
BATMAN: Because I’m batman!
PENCE: The fundamental disrespect these vigilantes have for the rule of law makes them a danger to everyone, especially our brave men and women in blue. Without the necessary training and network supporting our police, vigilantes are a worse scourge than what they claim to fight.
(BATMAN swings to the other side of the stage)
OFFICER 1: (from stage right) Look, guys, I know you’re angry. I get it. You thought I was one of your mates. I get it. But… please. I have a wife and four kids. Just… just put the guns down.
(a loud slap rings out)
THUG 3: You shut your mouth pig! They’ll be no mercy for squealers like you!
OFFICER 1: Please! Think of my children!
THUG 3: No, its you who’d best be thinkin of them. Thinkin about what you want them to see when they fish your body out of the river. Stevey here is going to figure out exactly how much you spilled, and you get to decide how gentle he is. Stevey! Get over here! Wait, where’s Stevey?
THUG 4: I don’t know boss, he was just right here.
THUG 3: What? Why would he run off? Bruno, go get… Wait, where’d Bruno go? And… George? Where’d George go? Where’d….
(THUG 3 lets out a loud grunt, and there’s a sound of rope whipping through the air and a clank of metal)
OFFICER 1: What… how… six armed men… What are you?
BATMAN: I’m batman!
PENCE: For without rule of law, there is no city, no civilization worth saving.
(a man dressed in ninja attire sneaks towards PENCE from stage left. He slowly draws a knife as he gets closer)
PENCE: With that in mind, I urge each of you to act with the greater good in mind. Do not tolerate these self proclaimed heroes.
(the man grabs PENCE by the shoulders and wheels PENCE around to face him, knife flashing. BATMAN erupts through the stage floor and grabs the ninja from behind, tossing him into the hole. PENCE skitters backward like a crab)
PENCE: What… who… how?
BATMAN: (swoops in close to PENCE’s face, whispering like a lover with a blender for vocal cords) Because. I’m. Batman.